Caught by the Sheriff--A Clean Romance Page 17

  “You’ve been running checks on me? Like a criminal?”

  Oh, no. She closed her eyes and pushed her chair back.

  “No. Nothing that wasn’t public. Nothing anyone in town couldn’t have looked up. And even then, only because I was worried about you. On my honor. But I’m asking you now to save me the time and effort. The truth, Faye.”

  She rubbed her eyes then held on to the edge of the table. Truth? Or more lies?

  “There’s nothing left.”

  “Are you divorced? I need to know the truth about that.”

  “Why?”

  “Because... Because maybe I’m starting to care too much.”

  The room stilled. Even Pepper’s ears perked and she looked up from her game with Nim. At least it seemed like it. It could have been the noise Faye’s mug made when it slipped from her hand and hit the table too hard. What was he saying? He was interested? He liked her? That’s why he’d looked her up? She pushed her hair back but couldn’t bring herself to make eye contact.

  “Yes.” She knew for sure that she had not disclosed her marital status online. She was single either way.

  “And he’s still after you? Have you tried getting a restraining order?”

  Think. Think.

  “Yes and no.”

  “Why not? I can help you with that.”

  “No. You can’t. It’s complicated.”

  “I’m in law enforcement, Faye. I was in the Air Force. I’ve cooperated in cases with WITSEC and the FBI. There’s nothing too complicated that I can’t at least try and help with. Let me in,” he pleaded.

  “Carlos, you don’t understand. He’s...blackmailing me.”

  It wasn’t the full truth, or a complete lie. He was manipulating her sister and her both. If he was straight-shooting, he’d have her face plastered everywhere by now. Nim would be in custody. And Carlos wouldn’t be asking questions because he’d know Nim wasn’t her daughter. She wasn’t even her legal guardian. She needed to buy herself a little more time. If he knew the truth, he’d be obligated to arrest her and, whether he believed her or not about Jim, without proof, Nim would be put in the hands of her father. He’d have her in jail and her sister labeled as unstable, assuming he hadn’t done something horrible to her. Nim would be lost to him. Raised by him. An abusive, arrogant, controlling, manipulative man.

  “Is he in the police force? Is he using his connections and abusing his power? And you?”

  “You could say that. He’s not a cop, but is in law. A lawyer. With a lot of clout and connections. And many of them are police in high enough positions to smooth out and cover up anything he pays them to do.”

  She was piecing together bits and pieces of what she knew about Jim from her sister and from what she’d suspected about his character all along.

  “Still, he lost custody in the divorce?”

  She took a long sip of her tea and looked back at Nim, avoiding eye contact. Just tell him the truth. Let him help you. No... Jim has too much reach. Clara said not to trust anyone.

  “The judge was sympathetic to mothers. Given her age and the fact that my hours were more flexible and accommodating, I got custody except for weekends. He was furious. He made that clear whenever I dropped her off. I told him I wasn’t going to bring her over anymore and that I’d report him. He threatened to destroy me. Hunt me down. Use everything in his power to make my life miserable forever. I took her and ran. Tried to cover my tracks.”

  He got up, paced the kitchen, then pulled his chair out and put it right in front of hers. He moved her chair, with her in it, as if she were weightless, and sat to face her.

  He took both of her hands in his and held on to them with a gentleness that tore her up inside and burned the rims of her eyes. She didn’t want to lie to him. Couldn’t. But was afraid to trust. Afraid of failing in the worst way possible. Failing her sister...her niece.

  “I’m sorry for what happened to you. I don’t ever want it to happen again. I’d do anything in my power to ensure that. I can keep you and your daughter safe. I can keep him from going anywhere near you. I just need you to trust me and give me permission. File a complaint and I’ll run a check on him. With men like that, there are often others in their past whom they’ve abused as well. We’ll find them. Maybe they’ll testify. But even if you’re the only one, I can—”

  “Please, Carlos. We’re fine here for now. Nim and I.” She thought of Clara and what Jim would do to her if he so much as got a hint that Faye was trying to bring him down. If Carlos went after him, Jim would take it out on her sister and then come after her. The image of Clara’s bruised face and black eye came to her in full color. She shuddered at what Jim was capable of. “I don’t want you to get involved. I don’t want to deal with any of it. If he causes trouble, I’ll let you know, but until then, I’d rather just be. He doesn’t know where I am. Not yet.”

  “But Faye.”

  “No buts. If you really do care...” She’d started to refer to what he’d said about her earlier...that he cared too much. The words didn’t come out. “If you care, then please just listen to me.”

  She let her hands turn in his. Let his fingers link through hers. Allowed herself to imagine...to feel...for a moment, what could be. She hated leading him on. Lying. Destroying any possibility of his feelings ever amounting to anything. She wanted more. Her hands in his felt right. It felt like home. Safe. But she had to keep Carlos out of it. His duty was to the law. She’d broken it. Her responsibility was to Clara and Mia. She couldn’t lose them. But she knew...just knew...with every cell and every breath, that she was losing the only man she’d ever felt a connection like this with. A man she had an urge to bare her soul to, but couldn’t. And most of all, she was losing a chance...at love.

  CHAPTER TEN

  YESTERDAY’S STORM PASSED. At least the weather-related one did. The one brewing in Carlos was driving him off the plank. And it wasn’t all about worrying that anyone would harm Faye, who was safely at home with Eve right now. The turmoil he was dealing with was in his chest, not his gut. He’d felt this way once before, only this was different. This time it was deeper, stranger and more disconcerting than it had ever been with Natalie.

  With Natalie, they had had a plan. Their relationship made sense. He had loved her and not because he wanted to protect her—they were dating long before he found out about her abusive past—but because she had a strength about her. She was determined. Fearless...until it came to the idea of getting pinned down in Turtleback. He’d been ready to marry her and he would have devoted himself to that marriage. Dutifully. That’s how he ran his life.

  But he knew love was about letting go, if that’s what a person needed. He had thought, for the longest time, that Nat would change her mind and come back to him, realize that putting down roots didn’t mean losing one’s freedom. But he eventually accepted that wasn’t going to happen. He’d learned his lesson. Their relationship had been easy, but it fell apart when things got complicated. When the going got tough, not everyone had the kind of strength it took to step up. To take a stance and stick around.

  With Faye, everything had been complicated right off the bat. None of it made sense. She was a single mother. He’d never imagined starting a family and having kids until meeting her. He didn’t even know if he was ready for one or if he’d be any good at it. All he knew was that that little girl had triggered some sort of paternal instinct in him that was hard to shake. Faye also came with the sort of emotional baggage she might never get past to let him in. Natalie hadn’t loved him enough to be in it for the long haul. Faye was at a point in life where she probably couldn’t see that far into the future. She was hiding out. Watching over her shoulder. Looking only as far as tomorrow and hoping things would be okay.

  He didn’t want to be drawn to her. He didn’t want to care so much. But he did. That was pretty much the only simple thing about thi
s mess. He cared beyond any sense of duty and that was that. It was as if their paths had been destined to cross. He couldn’t stop thinking about her and it sure as heck wasn’t because he felt sorry for her or was worried for her. Yes, when he saw her wrist, it had triggered a protective instinct and reminded him of all that Natalie had confided in him, but that was only initially. Things had changed since then. He wanted to be around her and Nim. When he was at work, he thought about going home and maybe stopping by Eve’s to say hi. When he went to pick up groceries and dog food earlier, he found himself picking out a few items Nim could enjoy, just in case they ended up at his place again.

  He used to go home after work and relish the alone time, feet up in front of the TV with his dog next to him. Since the storm yesterday, when he’d taken Faye and Nim to his place, his house felt empty. He already missed sitting down and playing “which hand” with Nim, while Faye had some time to herself. He missed sharing his dinner. He missed the tender look on her face when she’d stepped out of the bathroom and found him playing with Nim. And the truth was, he had no right to feel all this. He hadn’t even known her that long.

  If Natalie hadn’t been ready for commitments, Faye certainly wasn’t. He had to keep reminding himself that caring for someone was about giving them their freedom and fulfilling their wishes and needs, not one’s own. Faye was on the run. Even if he managed to fix things so that her ex could never bother her again, she had her business to return to, several states away. She had no reason to stay in Turtleback Beach. And he couldn’t forget the fact that his being a sheriff had really made her nervous, at least initially. Would she ever get over that and trust him? Could he trust her? Trust was crucial in a relationship and she still didn’t trust him fully. Definitely not enough to let him do his job and protect her. Offering that protection and help didn’t mean she couldn’t take care of herself. Heck, she was incredible. The kind of inner strength and courage it took to escape an abuser, with a child in tow, no less, and face each day with the level of determination she did was incredible.

  But Faye had something in common with Natalie. Turtleback wasn’t her home and it didn’t look like she planned on staying. He couldn’t blame her. She had just escaped a bad relationship. Starting a new one was probably the last thing on her mind.

  He rubbed the back of his neck, then went and rinsed his coffee mug out. He needed to wash away whatever feelings he was starting to have for Faye too.

  Stick to protocol. Don’t get personal with a case. You’re already in too deep. Pull yourself out while you can. Before it’s too late. Before you get hurt again.

  He filled Pepper’s water and food bowls and stuffed his keys in his pocket, then proceeded to lace up his boots.

  Faye’s keys. He smiled to himself. He was kinda glad she couldn’t find them yesterday. Having her and Nim here for dinner and seeing how happy it made his dog had given him a taste of what his father must have felt whenever he came home from work.

  He finished with the second boot and grabbed his jacket. He needed to get to work. He desperately needed to pick up a cinnamon pecan muffin at The Saltwater Sweetery first. Thinking about Faye triggered his cravings. Made him happy. Made him want more. He wanted to give her more. Make her see that life wasn’t all bad. That there was beauty in it. Peace.

  Peace. Show it to her. If she can only see as far as tomorrow, then give her a tomorrow she’ll never forget.

  He opened his door and the morning air breathed new life into him. Give her peace and an unforgettable tomorrow. He knew exactly how he would.

  * * *

  FAYE WAITED UNTIL Eve left for work and Nim went down for her midmorning nap before booting up the laptop. She drew the afghan around her shoulders and took the computer and a mug of tea outside to sit at the teak table and chairs on Eve’s deck. The deck overlooked the Atlantic with its white-tipped waves and the endless stretch of sand that welcomed it. Stairs descended onto a wooden walkway that led through patches of wild grass and reeds, over a short sand dune onto the main beach. The beach and shore were in clear view from up here on the deck.

  She had been up before dawn today with Nim. The sunrise had been the most breathtaking, brilliant blend of pinks and oranges she’d ever seen, but she didn’t get to sit and enjoy it for long. If she were here in Turtleback under different circumstances, she would have a hard time leaving. She would never tire of waking up to a sunrise like the ones she had been witnessing on clear mornings. But Nim had woken up cranky and drooling like a Newfoundland with a bowl of food in front of him. No wonder puppies chewed everything in sight when they were teething.

  It had to hurt. But all the tips she’d been given by people like Chanda, including a refrigerated teething ring and the more holistic amber one Eve had surprised her with, were helping. She had needed to resort to acetaminophen only one night, when the teething had given Nim a low-grade fever and the teething rings didn’t seem to be soothing the pain, and they had both finally caught up on some lost sleep. Until this morning, when she’d resorted to giving medication again. At least it was working.

  More than once, the town doctor had been suggested and she’d declined every time. She was grateful that Nim hadn’t shown signs of coming down with the cold she and Eve had suffered—and if she did develop a high fever or severe symptoms of any kind, of course she’d take her in. But she wasn’t going to a medical professional for minor ailments. Not when that involved records and signatures and past pediatric information, which she didn’t have. It was too risky. Clara had kept up with all of it. She was an awesome mother. Completely taken for granted by her husband. But she had persevered. She’d been too tolerant, in Faye’s opinion. Or too stoic. Things had to have gotten worse for her to have trusted Faye with the most precious thing in her life.

  A massive bird that resembled a Pteranodon soared over the ocean, then dive-bombed the waves and came up with a beak overflowing with fish. It lifted its heavy cargo with graceful ease and disappeared over the cottage and in the direction of the sound side of the island. That bird didn’t let the dangers that lurked beneath the waters stop it. It could fly despite the weight it carried. That’s how it survived. She would too. She’d handle whatever life threw at her and whatever threats Jim shot her way because she had to be strong for Clara and Nim.

  She wasn’t sure that she could handle Carlos’s confession. He cared about her. Too much. She tugged the wrap a little tighter. Why did this feel like she was leading him on? Was it, though, if she was beginning to really like him too? If things were different, she’d admit to more than just liking him. Life wasn’t fair. It wasn’t being fair to any of them.

  A dog barked in the distance. She looked toward the northern end of the beach, toward the Turtleback Lighthouse, which she’d been told was under Gray and Mandi’s care. She could see Laddie out for a jog with Gray. They were far enough not to notice her in the shade of the deck and overhang. The bark was answered by another that emanated down the road from the cottage. Pepper. She loved the way dogs communicated without technology to bridge distances.

  Some friends were like that. The kind where even if years passed without any contact, within seconds of finally reconnecting, it was as if no time had been lost and the familiarity and comfort was still there. True friends were never strangers. In some ways, they could be stronger than family. Gold to be treasured. Like Eve.

  Despite the fact that they touched base only with a hello or holiday greeting online a few times a year, Faye had known Eve was the one person she could go to in a time of need. She had felt safer reaching out to her than to her parents. Not that they didn’t love her, but they didn’t get it. They would have insisted on fixing things. On contacting Jim and saving the relationship. They wouldn’t have been able to wrap the idea of a controlling, manipulative Jim around their heads. It wouldn’t have fit the image they had of him or the image of the perfect marriage they needed to believe their daughter—at least
one of them—had. Of course, she couldn’t have gone to them for the added reason that it would have been the first place Jim or the authorities looked for her.

  Jim. Carlos didn’t even know his name. He had no idea how much power the man wielded or the status he held, but he wanted to go after him. And if he started digging, everything would get worse. She didn’t know what exactly Carlos had seen online. What if he had held back information just to test her? To see if she was revealing everything to him? Wasn’t that what cops did when questioning suspects? They did in all the police dramas she’d watched or thrillers she’d read. They kept the upper hand.

  She rubbed her eyes, then her entire face, and pushed her hair back. What if Carlos didn’t listen to her and he went after “her ex” despite her plea? He’d find out she was lying before she had a chance to defend herself. But what if he understood? Eve told her that she could trust him. She would know, wouldn’t she? Faye was going to lose her mind. She wasn’t sure what to do, and the fear of taking the wrong step and ending up making things worse for Clara and Nim scared her to death.